Day 11 – Your siblings

I have a lot of siblings.
I'm #8 of 9 kids! It gets a little chaotic, but I wouldn't have it any other way :)
I love my siblings sooooooooo much.
They're pretty much awesome.

I have to talk about them from oldest to youngest, because... Well, that's just how it's always been in my family: Go in order, and you won't have any problems lol

#1 Dawn
I remember growing up knowing that Dawn was my big sister, but not really knowing her. It wasn't until the summer that my family moved to Arizona that I feel like I really got the opportunity to get to know her. When we moved to AZ, both my parents and Dawn and her husband were building houses. So, for about 3 months or so, we lived in the same rental house. Dawn and Derek had the master bedroom with their (at the time) 2 kids, my parents had one bedroom, and I shared a room with 3 of my other siblings as well as one bathroom. It was crazy, but I really did get so close to Dawn. Then, when all our houses were done, she only lived a 10 minute walk away, if even that. She is so awesome and kind and a good friend. She decorated my wedding, and I loved it! She is amazing!

#2 Daye
Daye was the first in our family to get married. She and her husband moved into a little duplex that was in our ward boundaries, so I spent a lot of time with her growing up. She and her husband would take Kylie and I to Chuck-E-Cheeses and let us have sleepovers... It was awesome. I learned that Daye is someone who always has your back, no matter what! She does everything she can to make you feel comfortable, and she gives one AWESOME haircut! She also decorates cakes! She really has a talent for crafty things (one of my many weaknesses).

#3 Aubrey
Aubrey is amazing. I got to know her really well when I went to college. I lived with her off and on during those 2 1/2 years. She is an amazing mom, a wonderful wife, a loyal friend, and one of the greatest big sisters ever. There are some days when I wish I could go back to just living in her basement. That way, I could keep being with her all the time. But, she's not too far away :)

Now, this is the point when I actually get to know my siblings while I was growing up! ;) lol

#4 Matthew
My big brother. He loves his family. He loves his Savior. He loves his God. He is extremely athletic and kind of a punk at times, but he knows where his heart lies. He has been beaten, battered, torn... But he has come back stronger than ever. I remember talking to him once. We were in his truck driving to church. He could see right through the face that I had on. As he shared with me some of his experiences, he just kept telling me to keep going, keep being better. He saved me that day.

#5 Emily
Emily is the most generous person I think I have ever known. She would give you the shirt of her back if you needed it. Literally. She's lent/given me clothes on several occasions. She is fun to be around. She loves kids. She loves her husband. She loves the gospel. And I love her. She always knew how to get me to talk or to make the right choice. There were times when I has having a rough time that she would come into my room, wrap her arms around me, push me against the wall, and stick her nose in my face until I talked or cried! And the thing is... I'm so grateful she did. She has always looked out for me.

#6 Adam
I'm pretty sure that Adam didn't start liking me until after he came home from his mission lol. I'm kidding. But it was after he came home from his mission that we realized how much we had in common and how good of friends we could be. He is a hard worker, a good friend, and an awesome dad :) He will fight to the death for what he knows to be right.

#7 Ian
Ian is my best friend. He and I were kinda outcasted together when we were growing up hahahaha. But, it created a friendship that I wouldn't give up for anything. I don't think he liked me much until I got into jr high, but nonetheless! We have had some awesome times together. He is wise and kind and very loyal. He's a good husband and dad. He has a simple yet powerful testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

#8 (that's me, so we'll skip that)

#9 Kylie
We have been stuck together since she was born and we found out she was a girl. Yep. We had matching outfits and everything up until I went to high school and got the guts to tell my mom that I didn't always like matching Kylie. But Kylie is a loyal friend. You can count on her to help you out of even the toughest of situations. She tries so hard to improve herself. She's talented, athletic, and beautiful (and single, if anyone knows of a cute, LDS guy for her ;) lol)

I have the best siblings. And that's that :)

Day 10 – Your belief

Well, the first thing that comes to mind that describes what I believe is a little song that I learned when I was in Primary:

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
I know who I am!
I know God's Plan!
I'll follow him in faith!
I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I'll honor His name.
I'll do what is right!
I'll follow his light!
His truth I will proclaim!

It's probably the best song EVER. For real. It's pretty fun to sing.
Anyway, like the song says, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Or LDS. Or "Mormon"

What I believe is simple:
I know that God lives and that Jesus is the Christ. I know that they both love me infinitely and want me to return to their presence after my life on earth is over. I know that I came from my home in heaven to this earth because God has a plan for us; a plan I like to refer to as the Plan of Happiness because God made this plan for us to BE HAPPY. I know that by being baptized, I have been washed of my sins and have the opportunity to have the full fellowship of the Holy Ghost as my companion. I know that I can be forgiven of my sins and that I can keep myself unspotted from my sins. I know that FAMILIES ARE FOREVER. Through temple ordinances and sealings, families can be united NOT JUST TIL DEATH TO US PART, BUT FOREVER. I know that my family--that of my parents and siblings and my new family that Bryan and I have created--is forever and I am grateful for the sacred covenants I have made. I know that the Bible and Book of Mormon are the word of God and that there is a modern-day prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. I love him and sustain him to be the messenger of God. I know that God still teaches us today through revelation. I know that the trials we face in this life are given to us because GOD KNOWS WE CAN MAKE IT! He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, our knowledge, our faults, and He would NEVER give us something that we couldn't handle.
I love my Father in Heaven and I pray every day that I will live a life worthy of His presence.

Day 09 – What you wore today

Brown shirt.
White longsleeve underneath.
Jeans.
Halloween socks.
Brown fuzzy boots.

Well, that was easy.

Day 08 – A moment

A moment...?
Really?
We couldn't be any more GENERAL?!!!

What does this MEAN?!!!!

Okay, I will just choose a moment and tell you about it.

When I took out my endowment and walked into the Celestial room for the first time... I knew at that moment what my heaven--God's heaven--was going to be like. I had worked so hard to be there. And when I walked in, the first person I saw was my (at that time) future eternal companion. Bryan smiled, came to me, and hugged me. That was the purest happiness I think I have ever felt. Then, there was my parents. After that, my siblings. And then, my in-laws and dear friends. Those are the relationships and the people that I want to be with forever. And, because of that day, I know I can be.

I know that God lives. That Jesus is the Christ. That through the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, all things are possible including eternal life and eternal families.

Day 07 – Your best friend

Well... I have 3 groups of best friends. I know. That's weird. But I do. All these girls I absolutely love, adore, and look up to.

The first, My College Besties
aka THE AMIGAS!


Amy and I met during my first semester of college. She was having a hard day in our PhysSci class and I could tell. So, I walked up to her and asked her if she wanted a hug. And then I invited her over to make brownies. It was a friendship made in heaven :)
So, Amy and I moved in to the same apartment together the next semester. We didn't meet our FHE group for about a month, but when we did, that's when we discovered Kiah. Again, it was basically instant. We asked her to hang out, we planned a triple date together, and it was awesome. Kiah became the third wheel of our cute pink tricycle :) (I like to think that it's pink).
In all of our time together, I have learned so much from them. They also have been my rock when I needed them. And, we do have a pretty good laugh :)

The second, My high school besties
I don't have a picture of all of us together, so I'll just talk about them. Nicole, Suzanne, Alex, and Roselyn.
Nicole was one of the first people that talked to me when I moved to Arizona. She was always nice and fun. A little quiet, but we broke through that ;) She is such a wonderful example. Even though I only heard her bear her testimony aloud twice,
I could always feel it in her actions. And now, she and her husband are sealed in the temple and she's a beautiful mother.
Roselyn was actually friends with Nicole in elementary school, so I met her through Nicole. She is so fun to be around! There were times when I connected with her in so many ways!
Alex was new. When I ran into her while she was getting a tour of our high school, I had the impulse to hug her. That was when I knew she was going to be one of the best friends I'll ever have.
Suzanne was new, too. I remember when we started hanging out with her, I thought, "She is so funny!" And she is. For real. I also knew that she loved the gospel. It just radiated.
They're amazing. Even when we weren't on the same page, we always found a way to pull through.

Third, My new friends :)

Almost everyone is in this picture. The first time I hung out with them was right after Bryan and I started dating. I felt really comfortable with them, which is hard to do when you're the newbie. I'm just grateful for them and just how awesome they all are. I have already learned so much for them and I've known them less than 2 years! I I feel so blessed!

Day 06 – Your day

Today was... Alright, actually.

My hubby and I slept in this morning. We're trying to get better at that. But, nonetheless, we take advantage of the fact that we don't have kids and we have flexible jobs and we got up at 9:45. Fabulous :)
I wore my purple shirt, jeans, and Vans. I felt like wearing purple because my socks had purple on them. It made me happy.
Then, I went to work. It was busy! We haven't been that busy for a while--it's our slow season. Got out pretty early, too. It was nice.

Day 05 – Your definition of love

Love is:

kind.
pure.
laughing.
innocent.
marriage.
waking up next to your best friend.
talking for hours about nothing.
being able to sit in silence.
holding hands.
giving.
kisses.
teasing.

everything.

Day 04 – What you ate today

What did I eat TODAY?!!!

Well, it's honestly doing to be what I ate YESTERDAY, because by the time I got home from my festivities, it was super late and I was a zombie.

Anyway, for breakfast, I totally WOLFED down a bowl of Berry Colossal Crunch! It was short, but I enjoyed every second.

While I was at work, I ate a couple of crackers to keep my stomach from screaming at me before lunch. And then, I had leftover pizza for lunch from the night before. Again, I WOLFED it because we were pretty busy at the store most of the day.

Then, Bryan and I went on a date with our friends Andy and Tye. We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory! I had never eaten there before, so I was pretty excited. I had a salad, sourdough bread, tortellini with alfredo sauce (soooo good!), and spamoni ice cream; chocolate, cherry, and pistachio. It was pretty freakin' delicious :)

Day 03 – Your parents

This is my mom and dad :) I love them very much.
They got married in the Oakland, California temple on March 22.
There is too much to say about them. So, to keep it simple, they're amazing and if it weren't for their persistence and constant prayers, I wouldn't be where I am today.

I love you, Mom and Dad.

Day 02 – Your first love

Musicals
As dumb as it sounds, it's true.
I would watch a Disney movie almost every day growing up, because I loved to sing all the songs.
A few distinct memories of my Disney song obsession:

1. I was watching Pocahontas. You know the song toward the end when she is racing through the forest and then makes it to the mountain top just in time to save John Smith from getting beheaded by her father? I remember running around the family room, singing with her, and then when she flung herself on John Smith, I flung myself onto the recliner and "protected" the pillow. Oh yeah. That's a true story



2. The Little Mermaid was my FAVORITE movie as a child. We had a porch in our backyard that was a square one, but it had this perfect little corner that I could pull myself up on. Well, that was my rock when I sang "Part of Your World." Especially when I sang the reprise and the "waves" of the "sea" would crash up behind me as I sang, "WOOOOOOOOORRRLLLDD!!!!" Yeah. Another true story.



Then I discovered REAL musicals. My parents had gotten the Special Edition 10 Year Anniversary concert of Les Miserables on VHS. I watched it twice in one day. Then, they got the cd. I hijacked it and kept it in my room. I did a little concert to my Beanie Babies one day when I was 9 years old and I sang "I Dreamed A Dream" to them. When I was in 6th grade, the choir sang "Castle on a Cloud." I didn't have to look at the music once. Yeah. I was a G. I would watch The Music Man with my dad ALL THE TIME and he would tell me stories of when he had helped choreograph for it when he was in high school. He was a rockstar to me :)

Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words

Hey-O!



My name is Kelsey.
My husband is Bryan.
And together... We make one dang cute couple ;)
I love him terribly. He's my best friend, greatest mentor, and better half. He's the best, to put it simply :)

Enough about my cute hubby.

I'm number 8 of 9 kids. I'm convinced my mother is a saint.


I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and PROUD OF IT! I love the gospel! I love my Savior, Jesus Christ! I love my Father in Heaven who blesses me INFINITELY!


I love music; singing makes me who I am. I also love to dance. It kinda makes me who I am. I love performing in every way. I did plays all growing up, I was in choir from the time I was 9 all through college, and I taught dance, took classes in school, attended at a studio, and was on the dance line all through high school. I hope that what I have is a healthy addiction to the stage.


Now, I'm just going to blabber a little bit about myself: I really like studying history--as in, biblical history. I took 2 years of Old Testament and wished there were more OT classes I could take. It's weird, I know. I really like food, but don't like eggplant. I'm half Latin (1/4 Puerto Rican, 1/4 Castillian), but no one believes me. I taught myself how to read. I hate math. I'm not as old as you think I am. Trust me. I tolerate my job, but I'm waiting patiently for the day when I can say, "I'm taking my maternity leave! FOREVER!" I really want kids. I love my husband. A lot. <3

50th POST! Wahoo!!!

So, for my 50th post... I'm cheating :) lol.
No, really though. I'm going to just post this super cool 30-day list thing that lots of other blogs are doing! It looks fun, so I thought I'd try it :)

Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words
Day 02 – Your first love

Day 03 – Your parents

Day 04 – What you ate today 

Day 05 – Your definition of love

Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend

Day 08 – A moment

Day 09 – What you wore today
Day 10 – Your beliefs 

Day 11 – Your siblings

Day 12 – What’s in your bag

Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory

Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret

Day 20 – This month

Day 21 – Another moment

Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better

Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place

Day 28 – Something that you miss

Day 29 – Your aspirations

Day 30 – One last moment

And now... we wait

I finished my BYU application. I got accepted to UVU on Monday, but as an out-of-state student. Apparently, I have to have my license and be a registered voter for at least 3 months.
I'll be making phone calls, come April. I'm not paying that much for tuition. That's a little absurd. Especially since I am technically a resident of Utah, but the school just makes you do more crap to qualify. I mean, I've lived here for over a year and I'm married to a resident. And, as a matter of fact, I have proof of BOTH of those--WHO KNEW?!
Ugh. But, it will be done soon enough. Just got to wait it out for a bit.
I think waiting on BYU for a fourth time, though, is going to be the death of me. I know that I want an education. It has been a goal of mine since I decided that I was going to college to actually FINISH with a Bachelor's degree. But, now that I'm here and now that I've seen how much my husband (quite frankly) despises this school... I don't know if I belong there. If anything, I could give it a try for a semester or 2 and then see if I want to leave.
But then again, I have a different personality than my sweet hubby does. I will probably love it.
Maybe.
It's just not exactly right for him.

Know what else we have to wait for? Moving.
Yes, we're pretty set on moving if I don't get into BYU. The apartment we've been looking at is pretty awesome. And it's right down the street from UVU, behind Wal-Mart, and is closer to my work with less crazy hills which means...! I get to ride my bike to work more often :) YAY FOR EXERCISE!

Know what else we have to wait on? Kids.
I had the strangest dream the other night. The only thing I can really remember from that dream is that Bryan and I were in a room together and he was angry at me. He was saying things like, "What are we going to do?!" and "It's too soon!" and "You lied to me!" Then, I lifted up my shirt and said, "Well, I can't really hide it anymore." I'm guessing that in the dream, I was about 16-20 weeks along because I had a nice little baby-bump.
The sad part is, when I woke up... I was so depressed that it wasn't real. That's the first time I've really felt "baby hungry." At that moment, and for a few minutes after, I wanted to be a mom.
I mean, I joke around with Bryan a lot. I'll tease him whenever babies come on the tv or whenever we see cute little kids running around at the store or when there's a baby blessed at church... But that moment was the first REAL moment that I've had where I just wanted a baby.
Weird.

Know what else we have to wait for? Bryan's W2's
We're worried that his old employers won't get them to us because of one's reputation for being late with EVERYTHING (including pay), and the other not having our new address. **sigh** Hopefully we get it...

I'm done for now.

I've never been a "New Year's Resolution" type of person

But this year, that's changing.

My sweet husband is a SUPER GOAL MAKER! No really. He is.
Anyway, so I decided that this year I would make a few goals that I know I can attain or at least get close to attaining. I read this talk not too long ago that was pretty awesome. It's called "Go For It!" by M. Russell Ballard. And... I loved it! It really put a new perspective on goal-making for me.
I always felt like if I made a goal, I was more likely to fail. I felt this way with almost every goal I made! (I'm super hard on myself; something I need to work on). But this talk that I read just helped me out so much!
Elder Ballard said that we need to make righteous goals that lift us up, but those goals also need to be ones that we know we can attain.
HA!
I needed it in simple terms to realize that I needed the confidence to attain those goals!
I'm retarded. Simply put.
Anyway, I made a few goals. And I'm hoping that I can attain them by the end of this year.

I got sick the day AFTER christmas.

Thank goodness.
That would have been the WORST Christmas present EVER if I had gotten sick on the day. But, luckily (but not so pleasantly) I got sick the night after.

But that's not what this post is supposed to be about.
Christmas really awesome. Bryan and I spent the weekend with his family and I got to take part in some classic family traditions and in some new ones!
Every Christmas Eve, Bryan's grandparents (dad's side) go caroling to some of their neighbors. It was actually when we got engaged last year! So, of course we had to go again. It was so fun being on the Oyler's front step again and being with my husband who went from being my boyfriend to my fiance 1 year ago that night. That was the best Christmas present ever :)
After that, my mother-in-law initiated the first of the 2 new traditions.
We had a shepherd's dinner. Bread, cheese, summer sausage, and grapes. Yeah, it wasn't exactly what shepherds in Israel would have had, but we did what we could. Unleavened bread isn't very good and we had to have some sort of balance to our meal. But, the cool part was that we didn't use any technology to make anything (we bought the bread. yeah, we kinda cheated). It was simple, but even with the meagerness of the meal, I felt full at the end.
Then, we went on to the second of the new traditions. Michael McLean wrote a children's book of his story, The Forgotten Carols. It comes with a cd that has the songs and a narration by Brother McLean himself! So, we turned out the lights, lit some candles, and we sat and followed along with the book and listened to some of all our favorite Christmas songs.
Then, we continued with... well, traditional traditions lol
My father-in-law read from 3 Nephi 1; the account of Christ's birth as recorded by prophets in the America's. It was a sweet reminder of the greatness of His glory and the simplicity of His greatness.
Then, we all got to open our pajamas from Santa!
My pants were zebra print (of course!) and Bryan's were blue flannel. I helped Santa pick them out. ;)
We watched It's a Wonderful Life, which is different for me because my family always watched White Christmas. But, I still love that film. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside whenever I watch it. It's also Bryan's favorite movie.
Well, the time came when we all (who were staying the night at Mom and Dad's) had to get crammed in the basement so we wouldn't see what Santa brought.
So it started...
All of us girls (Eliza, Leah, and I) were to sleep in Liza's room and the boys (Bryan and Matthew, his brother) were to sleep in the play room outside of Liza's room. This is all part of the basement.
Liza and I wanted to try and pull and all-nighter, so we played The Game of Life until about 3 AM. Bryan was stealing money and Life tiles, Matthew was mad that he had the lowest salary, Leah was in the most debt, Liza was taking money from Bryan because he kept trying to not pay his debts, and I ended up winning even with only 2 Life tiles. It was funny.
Then Leah and I talked til about 5 AM.
Then we got up at 7 AM.
We prayed with Mom and Dad, took a picture on the stairs, then went to our stockings.
Bryan got a rubberband gun and a car kit. I got cookie sheets and my pizza stone. We got more, but I hate talking about Christmas gifts... Weird, I know. But I almost feel selfish because it's like "Look what **I** got!" Meh. Well, Bryan got the cinematographer's manual, some money, a Barnes and Noble gift card, Toy Story 3, Beauty and the Beast, 3:10 to Yuma, and recipes. I got some moccosin slippers, a necklace, some earrings, a shirt, a skookie pan, and we both got a book about Joseph Smith. I think that's everything...
Anyway, we went and saw Aub, Chad, and the kids. Hayden was shooting free throws. He's 2. Yeah. Bella was being shy for some reason. She's funny. It was good to see my sister. I missed her.
Then we went and had breakfast with Bryan's family and Grandma and Grandpa O. It was delicious, as always :)
This year, we didn't shoot our gingerbread houses. We didn't have any ammo for Bryan's bb gun :(
We spent the afternoon napping and playing games and watching movies. Then we went to Gma and Gpa O's house for dinner and the cousin gift exchange. It's always fun seeing that side of the family. Plus, the food is awesome :)
Then, we went back home to watch The Queen, our gift to Bryan's mom. I really liked it.
Then bed.
Sunday, we spent time with my sisters and then went to our friend Christmas party. That's when I started feeling sick.
I got pains in my lower back and down the backs of my legs and in my knees. It hurt to sit, to stand, to walk, to do anything really. Except lay down. Let's just say, I didn't do much. I felt bad. But, Bryan and I got the movie Inception during the White Elephant gift exchange. That was cool.
But that night wasn't.
I was in so much pain.
It hurt to move the next morning.
I didn't go to work.
This morning wasn't so bad. I've been taking pain meds regularly. But I've been coughing and sneezing for 2 days straight. Hopefully, this all lets up soon.

In honor of Christmas...

This is my little "gift" to you!
These clips are from my second favorite Christmas movie of all time, The Muppet Christmas Carol (the first being White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye).

Our First Christmas :)

Okay, I know it's a little early. But, hey! We wanted our OWN little Christmas with just the two of us.

It started off with us talking about our family's traditions. Turns out, they're pretty similar. Except my family's Christmas morning is a little more intense than his, but his family's Christmas Eve is an all-out program compared to mine.
But that's not the point.
So, we talked it out and decided we wanted to sing one of our favorite Christmas songs (we did mine this year). Then we would read Luke 2. Then, we would turn on the music and open presents!
This year, we sang "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear." I don't know why, but I've always loved that song. I guess that this song just personifies how I imagined that sacred night to be.
The world in solemn stillness lay to hear the angels sing
Love it.
What I loved even more was that Bryan totally doesn't know the words :) lol. It was awesome. And made me giggle. While trying to play the piano. It was eventful, LEMME TELL YA.
Then we read from Luke 2.
It was such a sweet reminder of the TRUE meaning of Christmas. I'm so grateful for my Savior and his willingness to come to this earth to teach us and save us.
Then... We opened presents!
I made Bryan open all his presents first (that spoiled boy). I got him a sweater from Express, new warm-up pants (Adidas. For free. From work. Woot!), and some business socks ;) (See my playlist to understand why it is so funny).
Then, I opened my present.
Bryan got me a GORGEOUS jewelry box! I love it! I've needed one for a while. I've been keeping all my jewelry in a little Victoria's Secret bag. Let's just say, it wasn't very... Good. Yeah. Everything was all crazy and mixed up and sometimes would end up sad looking because it was all smashed in the bag.
But my NEW jewelry box was EXACTLY what I wanted/needed. I love my hubby :)

Pictures to come!
Merry CHRISTmas

Change

Well, Bryan was denied from BYU's film program.
I cried.
My husband held me, and I cried.

I used to like moving... And change... But after living in Arizona for so many years and then living in Idaho for so many years, and now starting to get used to Provo... I'm not liking change so much anymore.

But Bryan may not stay at BYU.
I may not get accepted to BYU.

do we go back to Idaho?
Do we move to Salt Lake?
Do we try Southern Utah?
Do we just make a movie?
Do we write our book?
Do I go back to school?
What will we study?
Where will we go?

While I cried, I just sat in my state of confusion. I didn't really think about anything; I just cried.
But then, I leaned forward and said a silent prayer: "Father, I'm trusting you. We'll pray and ponder and study out our options, but I am trusting you to take care of us until then."
I felt peace come over me.
Even in all my confusion and worry, God still came though and touched my heart. He always does.
I know God lives and that Jesus is the Christ. They love us so much. I pray for their protection and for their forgiveness daily, so that I can try and become more like them.

So, like I said, we may be moving soon. We may not. At this point, I don't really know what God has in store for us or why we are here, but I'm trusting Him.
At this point, I kind of hope that we don't have to move. I like our little apartment and I will miss our friends that we have grown close to. But, I guess I could find that enjoyment in change that I used to have. Change is good. Maybe we just need change.

I can't help but think I don't deserve this

I feel like God is blessing Bryan and I so much.

Most of the time, I feel like I don't deserve it.

But then it reminds me that I have an all-knowing, kind, generous, and loving Heavenly Father who truly wants the best for me.

I feel like every day I have something new to thank Him for. I fall on my knees and with tears, I thank Him for how wonderful and gracious He is.

I got my promotion yesterday. The extra money that I will be making will allow Bryan and I to go on a little trip for our 1 year anniversary AND I will probably be able to pay for school.

I found out that I will be able to apply for graduation in the summer.

He's looking out for me.

So, I realize...

That posting YouTube videos shouldn't really count as a post... But I do it anyway. BUAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! :)

Anyway, I will be posting again soon because I have fun little pictures of our cute Christmas tree and decor to put up! YAY FOR CHRISTMAS! Only 14 days! WOOT!!!

Bryan and I were texting each other these lyrics...

So, I thought I'd share :)

I love my cute hubby <3

This was too cute to pass up!

So, I saw this on Annie's facebook page. It's so stinkin' cute! But it's also so tender and sweet. Truly, the simplest and most powerful testimonies come from children. They are not corrupted and they are blind to the world. They only know God and his love for them.



I am so grateful this holiday season for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He lives and loves us! I know this to be true.

So it's official...

Won't be going back to AZ for Christmas :( Sad day...

But I'm looking on the bright side:
ALL of Bryan's family is going to be here for Christmas!!! WOOT-DIGGITY!!! I really do love my in-laws. I especially miss Bryan's sister and her hubby. We spent a lot of time with them when we were dating in Idaho and now we don't get to see them much, so it's always so much fun when they come down!!!

Also, my whole family won't be together this year, anyway. I mean, Aubrey's fam isn't going because she doesn't want to travel while 8 months pregnant, and I think one of my other sisters is with her in-laws this year, too (not sure which, but I thought I heard something along those lines).

ANYWAY, total change of subject.

My last post was short.
I spent most of Friday night bawling my eyes out.
Partly because I couldn't sleep (didn't end up falling asleep until about 4 a.m.), but the rest was because I got REEEEEALLLY homesick :( Not a happy place to be. It was like I reached the tipping point that night and it just overwhelmed me! Like... Oh, I don't know... There are really no words that can describe it. It overwhelmed me so much that it made me sick on Saturday and I ended up leaving work early because I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out.
Then I came home.
Red faced and dry-eyed because there were no more tears...
Bryan pulled me to the couch and told me to tell him about it.

And I went loose.

Bawled, again, for hours.


But I am so grateful for my husband. He really does complete me. He helped me look at my problems from the outside and really assess what I was feeling.
I love him so much :)

One of my favorite songs that I like to sing to Bryan when he's discouraged.
I almost sang it at our luncheon, but I knew I was going to ball when I gave my speech, so I just decided to fight my tears with just words and not with song lol.

Late Night

I can't sleep. Things have been going great, until tonight.
Lots of tears.


That's all I can say.

David Letterman - Steve Carell vs. Mark Wahlberg

Good laugh. I love Steve Carell

So, I kinda miss MY family.

I really love my husband's side. They're so awesome and kind and fun and generous and... Just downright AWESOME. I have the greatest in-laws ever, to be completely honest.

But this Thanksgiving, I really missed my family. When I hugged my little sister, it made me wish that she wasn't the only sibling I would be hugging this year. But, alas, it is quite expensive driving to Arizona. I miss it... A lot. Especially right now. I wish I could walk outside without needing to wear snow boots. I wish I could still picnic. I didn't think that being in actual winter climate would be so bad, but... Yeah. Just not my cup of cocoa.

I really miss my mom. And my dad. Being far away AND recently married is totally stinky. Why? Because not only am I a 12 hour drive from my parents, but I have no money to make that drive. We're barely living paycheck-to-paycheck as is.

But Thanksgiving was really good this year, overall. We had so much fun with Bryan's family and with our friends. I was really sad when Kylie had to leave on Friday instead of staying the whole weekend, but that's okay. I got over it.

Time to just be THANKFUL :)

I thought I would start of this Thanksgiving week by expressing open gratitude

I'm grateful for:

• My life
• My cute hubby
• My family
• My friends
• My bed
• My zebra print bedspread :)
• My homemade bows (that I want to make more of)
• My bathroom
• My new curling iron
• My job
• My books
• Stay-at-home date night
• Seeing movies with my friends
• Having totally awesome girlfriends
• The temple
• My calling
• My visiting teaching companion
• My visiting teach-ee's
• The Ensign
• President Thomas S. Monson
• The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
• My bishop and his wife :)
• My baptismal covenants
• The opportunity to worship freely
• Prayer
• Fasting
• Scripture study
• Music
• Goals
• Treats
• Make-shift meals that end up being really tasty
• Communication by email and facebook (it's dumb, I know, but I am grateful for it)
• What I believe to be true: God lives, Jesus is the Christ and the Savior of the world. His atonement makes it possible for all things such as eternal families, forgiveness, the priesthood, and so many other things that come through Him. The Holy Ghost resides with us, in our worthiness, and guides us to do what is right. I love my Father in Heaven. Lately I have seen his hand in my life and realized that he knows me by name.
  

That's just a small list, but I think that's all I can put into words right now.

Bedtime...

It's hard to be happy today.

My high school dance coach had a little girl. Her name was Savanna. She was so beautiful and was 7 months old. Now she's gone. I wish I could hug Tabby. I wish I could be with her right now.

It's times like these that I wish I could cry out my testimony to everyone that I love, but it's times like these when it's scary for me. So, I'm saying now that I know that God lives and he loves ALL his children. I know that those children who leave this life before the age of accountability are sent straight to His side to be in His comfort until their parents come in righteousness to raise them. I know that families can be forever through the atonement of Jesus Christ and through the sealing power of the temple.

I need to do some venting...

Okay, so it's not ANGRY venting. I just need to openly talk about how I feel....

So, my boss (the owner of the store I work at) is kind of crazy. Well, he's like a good person, just not the best boss in the world. As in, he curses at us, gets mad easily ( like REALLY easily ) and I just feel like he doesn't express himself very well.
Anyway, so I get guilt tripped REALLY easily. Like, if you tell me that you didn't like the sandwich I made you for lunch that day, I'll feel bad about it for like three days. No joke. I'm serious.
So, my boss called our store three times today and I was involved in some way or other with all those calls and he cursed TO me (not at me, but TO me) twice in one sentence. Yeah. Sometimes I wish I could tell him that I don't appreciate his cursing, but he's kinda scary. So, continuing, he called two more times upset, and then he sent me a kinda angry email. It was only one line, but as I read it, I could hear him saying it and that didn't help at all.
So, the reason why I need to vent is because I hate crying over how my boss treats me. And the thing is, I know he doesn't realize how all of us feel about it because all of us just put a face on in front of him and then when he leaves, we all basically break down in whatever way we do. Personally, I end up crying and ranting to my husband. It's never good. And then I have nightmares about it. Dead serious. Nightmares. About work. never good.
I just pray everyday that God will touch my boss's life that way he can have some peace and have a good head when things go wrong. I literally pray for him BY NAME. I'm just glad that God answers my prayers. But it's still hard on those days when my boss doesn't let the spirit touch him and he just... GOES. :(
Sad day.

I've picked my try-out piece!!!

So, I've decided to try out for music scholarships at UVU and BYU to help my chances at getting accepted to either school and I've picked a classical piece to perform!

This version is a duet, but in the solo I would just sing all of it by myself (obviously! it's a SOLO.)

Anyway, I give you "Time To Say Goodbye" composed by Quarantotto/Sartori, performed by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7rZEKClk4&feature=related

Mailbag to begin the "Thankful" season :)

Dear hubby,
Thank you for writing me cute little love notes! I love you.
Love, wifey

Dear Work,
Thanks for giving me so many hours this next week. Although I'm very tired, I'm glad that I'm staying busy.
Love, me

Dear Fall,
Thanks for coming back after those couple of days of snow. I missed you. You know that you're my favorite time of year, right? Just so beautiful... :)
Love, Me

Dear God,
Thanks for making me feel better all the time.
Love, Your daughter

Dear Puffs Extra Strong Tissues,
Thank you for being on sale at Wal-Mart so I could partake in your comforting goodness. You have surely soothed my running nose :)
Much love, me

Dear Car,
Don't give up! We'll be fixing you soon! You've done so good!
Love, Bryan and Kelsey

Dear Piano,
This whole me-not-playing thing is going to be stopping soon because of that whole audition thing I've got going on in the winter. I'm coming back soon.
Love, me

Dear Bed,
Make room! I'm coming in!
Love, me

I'm trying to find something to blog about....

... but nothing is really coming to me right now, so I'm just going to start unloading onto this post for a moment:

She never really knew what it was going to be like until it happened. She had heard stories for years; some good, many horrible. It was something that was exciting for the first few months of the engagement and became ordinary for the last few. Then, it came.
That morning, Kelsey woke up early--really early. She opened her eyes quickly and wide, taking in every bit of light that was in that room. 3:30 am seemed so early before today. Now, it just seemed moments before she would be leaving for the hairstylist, make-up artist, and then to the temple. Sitting up was just as easy as opening her eyes, surprisingly. As she jolted up, she turned to her left where her best friend and bride's maid slept soundly. Amy apparently didn't feel a thing. The little bit of light that was glowing in the room came from Kelsey's cell phone that lay screen up on the nightstand next to the bed. She grabbed it and wondered whether or not Bryan would be awake. He'll get it when he wakes up, if anything, she thought to herself and sent her thumbs typing:
Don't forget to get to the temple early for pictures. I love you.
After finishing, she watched the screen as it glowed red with white writing that told her the progress of her message's travel.
MESSAGE SENT!
Okay, she thought to herself, what to do now... As she contemplated what might be a good activity for the next two hours, the screen of her phone gave a purple hue to the room. Already? she thought as she reached over to pick up her phone. The name "Honey" glowed on the screen as she opened the text:
I know, baby. I love you, too.
It made her glad to know that she wasn't the only one that couldn't sleep that night and she wondered if she would ever be able to catch up as she began to text back and forth with her soon-to-be husband for the next hour and a half.
Six in the morning came too soon. Kelsey slowly got out of bed, packed those things she wouldn't need today, dressed, and left to her hairdresser's house.
Daye was the only one awake as Kelsey walked up to the house and waited for the door to be unlocked. As she opened the door, Kelsey's 2nd oldest sister looked a little stressed and tired. Did she lose sleep as well? Kelsey felt a little guilty after her thought of relief as, once again, she was not the only one.
"Go sit down and let me get my stuff," said Daye as she walked upstairs to get the curling iron and other such things to do Kelsey's hair. Kelsey walked past the stairs directly into the kitchen where Daye's small in-home single hair station was set up. As Kelsey sat down, she examined herself in the vanity mirror. I don't look like a bride... Or feel like one, at that. Daye came bustling down the stairs and plugged in the iron and set down various pins and such.
"How are you feeling?" she said and placed her hands on Kelsey's shoulders, lowering her face by Kelsey's ears.
"Tired," Kelsey said, honestly. "I didn't get much sleep last night; about 4 hours or so..." And Daye began her magic. Kelsey always loved getting her hair done by her big sister. Daye ALWAYS seemed to do it just right. About half way through, someone came through the door. Kelsey looked into the mirror and saw her brother, Adam, walking in with a camera.
"So, I'm just going to get a few shots of you getting your hair done and we'll do a mini interview type thing and then I'll head over and do the same at Bryan's," Adam began as he crouched down and placed the camera to his eye. He filmed Daye, Kelsey's bouncing foot, and asked Kelsey how she was doing. Kelsey was already feeling redundant as she repeated what she had just told Daye not a half hour before.
After Adam left, Daye finished. Kelsey looked in the mirror and thought out loud, "It's perfect. I love it." It was elegant and exactly what she imagined and more. While they were trying to decide where to place Kelsey's veil, the door opened again and this time not so quietly.
Dawn and Aubrey came bustling into the kitchen, make-in hand and half singing, "Happy Wedding Day!" The compliments began to soar about Daye's work and Kelsey's three oldest sisters began gibbering about what to do next.
"How are you wearing your veil?"
"Do you want it here?"
"Where is it best?"
"Where do YOU want it?"
"Just tell us where you want it!"
And she snapped.
"Why are you crying?!" Dawn said as she dabbed at Kelsey's cheeks.
Kelsey burst into tears and she didn't know why. Aubrey, who had been applying Kelsey's make up, began scrambling for a tissue as to save her recent work on Kelsey's base.
"Is it your veil? Are you stressed?" said Daye, again laying her hands on Kelsey's shoulders.
"Did you sleep okay?" Aubrey said as she began to dab at Kelsey's tear-stricken face.
"I'm just really tired," Kelsey whispered with more tears rolling.
"Okay," Daye said, picking up Kelsey's veil again, "Let's put it here. Is that alright?" Daye placed the comb of the birdcage veil behind Kelsey's bangs and let the cage fall over the perfectly done french roll.
"Okay," Kelsey mustered without shedding another tear.
Aubrey finished Kelsey's make-up and as she left, Kelsey was hugged by her big sisters. "We'll see you at the temple," Dawn whispered into Kelsey's ear.
Back at her parents' house, Kelsey got into her wedding dress. The drive to Mesa was an hour long and she didn't know how much time she would have to get ready once they got there. She made sure to eat breakfast and then walked into her mom's room.
Dad was gone (where he went, Kelsey had no idea) and Mom was in the bathroom.
"Mom?" Kelsey whispered as she walked in. "Are you ready?"
"Hi beautiful." Kelsey's mom said as she looked at her daughter.

Okay, idk if I can finish that right now... To be continued...

YEH-YAHHH!!!!

So, we filmed this weekend and it was a FREAKIN' BLAST!!! It was different for me because last time we made a movie together, I was acting. This time, I was part of the crew and it was just as much fun if not MORE fun! I loved being in that environment and I loved seeing my cute hubby in his element. I was so grateful for everyone who came and helped, too. There was SUCH a good turn-out and we got it done ahead of schedule. Good times. Great oldies. Pics coming soon; just one pic, actually. We never really got around to taking tons of pictures, but if anything I want to post the final movie on here for my readers' enjoyment... For those of you who actually read my blog... Which there are not very many, but NONETHELESS! I am grateful :)
I wore my Jack Skelington dress to church today in honor of Halloween (see picture from honeymoon for what I am talking about). Sharon noticed it and made me feel cool :)
I should be hearing back about my job interview sometime this week. I need to buck up the courage and talk to my manager about my hours because if I don't get this other job, I need to get a new job altogether... Which scares me... A lot.

More pics?!!! Who knew!

So, turns out that Bryan put my birthday pictures on the desktop computer rather than the laptop. Go figure.

MY BIKE!

RIDING MY BIKE!

Bryan was holding the camera and singing to me. This was my (cup)cake :)

Oh man. Update. Much needed.

It's been a while since I've been on. I know I'm terrible, but HEY! I have a life, too!!! Not that I'm telling people who blog regularly that they don't have lives because then they wouldn't have anything to blog about. Right. Anyway.

So, Update:

Bryan got the job at LDS Motion Picture Studios! WOOT DIGGITY!!! It's just been fabulous and stinkin' amazing for him (and for me because now he has something he likes to do and he's not complaining as much. Poor guy, I didn't put up with it very well). He works in the camera/equipment check-out room where he basically does what I just said: checks out cameras/equipment. BUT, lucky for him, he works under the DP -- that's Director of Photography; took me about a week or so to figure it out, so I thought I'd clarify to those that were reading so you wouldn't have to look at that sentence a million time's trying to figure out what "DP" meant. You're welcome.

ANYWAY, so George is DP which means if he needs help on set, my cute hubby gets to go and help. YEAH! WAY COOL! He's gotten to go on set twice already and it's just been awesome for him and he's in heaven on those days. I love him so much.

I took tours at both UVU and BYU and I haven't really gotten a good idea about either school. I'm planning on meeting with advisors soon and then I hope to decide which school I'd rather go to. I plan on trying out for scholarships in the winter and hopefully that will pull and whether or not I get accepted. If I don't, then I'll just continue working and supporting my cute hubby until I get another opportunity to go to school (whenever that will be).

I had the most wonderful experience last week that made me realize how important it is to have faith in our savior, Jesus Christ. He will take care of us. It isn't a matter of maybe, but a matter of, "Am I going to let him suffer more than he already has by doubting him?" God takes care of all his children. We need to have faith and know that the atonement is real. We need to believe Christ when he says, "Take my yoke upon thee, and I shall give thee rest." I can do anything through the mercy and love of God and Christ. They love me and they help me continue on through life.

Now, PICTURES!!! They're like, really late, but here they are!

Disneyland! Day 1 of Honeymoon

Disneyland, Day 2!

LA temple, Day 4

One of Bryan's pictures from on set for the extended scenes of "Joseph Smith: the Prophet"

Sorry for those of you who wanted to see pics of my bike. Apparently, our camera erased ALL of the pictures from my birthday. Yes, ALL of them. :( *sniffles......

Mailbag. Yes, I'm doing it again.

Dear Mailbag,
I agree with Annie when I say, thank you for being so easy to do when just writing a post is so difficult to do.
Love, Me

Dear Bike,
Thank you for coming into my life! I'm now having motivation to do something constructive with my life! But why are your handlebars loose? I can't avoid all those bumps in the road so you'll just have to suck it up and keep straight.
Love, Me

Dear Mail,
Thank you for bringing me all of my birthday cards. You should keep this up. It makes me feel very special :)
Love, Me

Dear Purse,
I should probably clean you out. You've been getting really crowded lately and most of the time I can't find my wallet... That's a problem. So, be expecting a little visit from the cleaning fairy soon.
Love, Cleaning Fairy

Dear Halloween,
You should start telling stores to put out costumes for adults! You're my favorite holiday and this is the first year I haven't had a costume in mind before my birthday. I need some help here!
Thanks! Me

Ps Halloween, come faster :)

Dear Gas Prices,
Why are you so high? Don't you realize how often I go up to Bountiful to visit my family? I can't keep doing that if I can't afford getting there... Geez...
Love, Me

Dear Hair,
Why don't you figure out how to 'do' yourself? You're such a pain!
Love, Me

Burton is here! (And other news)

Well, my new nephew was born this morning! WELCOME TO THE WORLD, BURTON RILEY! Man, I already love him and I've only seen a picture of him on my phone! He has my side's nose. Classic trait of all my nieces and nephews. And he's got a little bit of DARK hair. I can't wait to see him in person! Which probably won't be until like... Next year, but I'm still super excited!
Well, My birthday is coming up on Thursday. I know Bryan got me shoes, but I honestly have no idea what they might be... And then on Saturday, there was a big box dropped off on our doorstep. And I mean, BIG. It's almost as tall as I am!!! I honestly have no idea what it could be. And, when I don't know what things are, I get worried. Yeah, I'm worried. But if I have no idea, I almost get scared because I don't know if I'll like it or not... But I trust my sweet husband :)
So, I had this dream and I choreographed this AMAZING jazz dance to "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap (see my playlist). I want to make it REALITY! We'll see what happens

So, I'm taking a little dose of Annie in my life...

My dear friend from BYU-I, Annie, does this thing called a mailbag. I'm going to take a stab at it. If it fails, I shall never do it again! If it's not so bad... I still may never do it again lol.

Dear birthday shoes,
I know that Bryan wants to wait and give you to me on my birthday, but I really want to see you. So, me thinks you should just come out of your little packaging and we'll start our beautiful friendship.
Love, Me

Dear BYU,
Thank you for accepting my husband. But NO THANKS for declining me. But, I thought you should know that I'm going to try applying ONE MORE TIME! YES! I WON'T BE STRICKEN DOWN SO EASILY!!!
Love, Me

Dear BYU Film and Media Job Guys,
I just thought you should know that you suck. :)
Love, Me

Dear New Navy Nike Jacket,
Thank you for sneaking into one of our orders so I could have you for free. You're very warm and very comfy. I have a feeling we'll be hanging out a lot.
Love, Me

Dear Pay Check,
Please come to me faster. I have to pay rent Wednesday.
Love, Me

Dear BYU-I Class Registration,
Please open up some of your classes again. I only have 9 credits until I get my AA degree. It would help me out a lot.
Love, Me

Dear Laziness,
WHY DO YOU INFECT ME SO?!!
Love, Me

Dear bed,
You and I both know that I need to stop sleeping with you so much. Yes, I do enjoy sleeping in til 9:30, but this has GOT to stop.
Love, Me


Okay, Annie... how'd I do?

Some inspiration on Sunday morning

My sister sent this to me in an email. It really impacted me. I thought I'd share it with you.

"This painting was unique from its very beginning. It would be great if I could take credit for the composition and message it conveys but in my mind, that would be like Moses taking credit for bring water from the stone in the desert.

"Usually when I have an idea for a painting it starts as a simple seed and it grows as I play with the image in my mind, moving the characters around, imagining the lights and shadows, the values and the colors, eventually deciding on its composition after what might be weeks or even months of pondering and sketches, but this painting was different. There was no seed, no moving of characters, it was totally different.

"I was sitting in church on a Sunday afternoon as the Sacrament was being passed and bang, there it was, the image was instantaneously placed before my mind's eye just as you see it here. This experience has happened to me only three times and it has been very special each time."

THE LORD ANSWERS PRAYERS!!!

First off, I just want to thank all of those who have been praying for Bryan and I over the last few days. Bryan received emails back from BOTH the jobs he applied for informing him that he will know by the end of next week whether or not he has an interview.
We went to the Provo temple on Friday night for our date night. It was just wonderful to sit in the peace and beauty that is the Lord's house. Bryan and I are really starting to feel that we could start our wedding video business. Bryan has been very diligent with his research and we have worked together with coming up with prices and packages. I really feel like this could work, and I know that it is partially because we have such a loving Heavenly Father that wants us to find JOY IN THE JOURNEY!
I'm starting to get used to the idea of staying at Scoreboard. It works, ya know? Good pay, good coworkers. Yeah, it's going to be stressful, but that's just work. I think that, once Bryan starts making money as well, if I join a dance studio or find a voice teacher, I'll be able to really let go of my stresses.
I got a new calling a few weeks ago; Relief Society music coordinator/assistant pianist. I'm actually really excited. It's getting me back into the groove of playing the piano. It's good to just let go for an hour or two every week (I should probably play more, but I'm a terrible person).

Now that I've realized that Vee is the only one who reads my blog...

I just giggle :)
I enjoy writing here, but I don't feel like I do it often enough.
I think God is trying to tell me to stick to Scoreboard because I think I'm getting a promotion. My manager, assistant manager, and I have been talking and when we move into our new store, I'll become the Team Rep for our store. That's kind of a big responsibility, but it comes with a raise... So, yeah. I think I can do it. I'm trying to come up with better organization methods NOW while I have the chance so by the time we move, I can move with full force!
Bryan applied for a few new jobs! I'm just so excited! I really hope he gets one of them. They would help so much with his schooling and his future career in film.
We've been married for 2 months TODAY! Which means, sadly... THANK YOU CARDS. Man, they're annoying! I feel like I'm writing the same thing on every card! How many ways are there to say "Thank you?"
-Thank you
-Thanks
-Thanks so much
That's all I got... Yeah, my cards and really varied.

Stewing thoughts...

Well, third time's the charm--but this charm SUCKED. Yes, for the third time, BYU denied me. I cried. My husband held me, and I cried. I want to go to school so bad. I'm pretty much jealous that Bryan gets to go and sit in classrooms and soak up lectures and learn so much, while I go and sit in the back of a hot sports store and slave day after day making jerseys just to pay the next month's rent.
I need a new job.
I want to join a dance studio. I've looked into a few, but haven't really seen any prices yet. I need an hour a week when I can just let out my stresses and feel healthy and get tired because I love my life. I'm just... Well, tired of being tired because of my job. I want to be tired because I'm enjoying my life. I want to be tired because I spent the whole day being crazy with stresses that I can laugh about at the end of the day, not stresses that leave me up at night worrying about losing the only source of income that my little family has right now. I want to be happy. Tired, but happy.
I'm happy when I'm at home.
I'm happy when I'm eating dinner with my husband.
I'm happy when I'm reading my scriptures.
I'm happy when I'm reading Harry Potter.
I'm happy when I'm eating popcorn, curled up on the couch, watching a movie.
I'm happy when I'm with my family.
I'm happy when I'm hanging out with my girlfriends.
I'm happy when I'm singing
I'm happy when I'm talking with my God.
I'm happy when I'm sitting in the bathtub with bubbles half-way up the wall.
I'm happy when I know others are happy.
I'm happy when I'm laughing.
I'm happy when my husband holds my hand when we pray
I'm happy when I can go to sleep knowing that my best friend is laying next to me.
I'm happy knowing that God loves me enough to give me life.
I'm happy when I'm at the temple.
I'm happy when I'm looking at pictures, basking in sweet memories.

Well... I needed that.

Married now

Well, I'm a married woman now! Very happily for 2 WHOLE weeks! :) I know, such a milestone. lol. But it really has been so fun and wonderful. I really do feel like I'm married to my best friend and the greatest man I have ever known. The downside of all this bliss is, I've wanted to go back on our honeymoon since I started work again :(

We went to Southern California and did Disneyland, California Adventure, The Pirate Dinner Adventure, the LA temple, and Santa Monica beach. I want it all back; the food, the fun, everything. I want to get married every weekend so I can celebrate like I did and go on a fun honeymoon like I got to.

The wedding, luncheon, reception, and open house were all amazing and gorgeous. I would have to say that our sealing was my favorite part. I cannot say why, but it was. There is nothing like that feeling.

Everything was just so beautiful! I can't even describe! When I get pictures, I might just end up looking at them every day for the rest of my little life! It made me so happy. I wish I could go back.

Let the pampering BEGIN!

Me and my mom at my bridal shower

I'm starting to feel like a bride :)

Yesterday, I spent 2 hours at the nail salon. Foot and leg massage, salts on my feet, pedicure, and a full set of acrylic nails! Man, I felt like a princess. Then my sister (who is a cosmetologist and doing my hair for the wedding) did an emergency dying session and it turned out great! Then, she did my hair in the french roll I want for the wedding. It's amazing! I'm so excited!

Then, it was my bridal shower! Everyone came (except for one of my college friends *sniffle*) and it was so fun! We ate! We gabbed! We laughed! It was awesome! And I got some great gifts! Got my bowls and plates from Target, mixing bowls, a mixer, muffin pan, hot pads, shelves, and so much more! (I'm trying to recall these off the top of my head, so bear with me! lol)

It was so fun and I'm just so happy!

Can I just say...

How much I

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

my mom and how totally

AWESOME

she is??!!!

For example, my bridal shower invite (for Arizona):

Pink? Zebra print?

Only two of my FAVORITE things!!!

(If you couldn't tell **winks**)

The Luckiest

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

ROAD TRIP!!! :)

My sweet fiance and I went back up to visit the Burg this weekend! It was a short little road trip but it made me very happy. I love my sweetheart; he is just wonderful. When we started the drive back, he asked me if I had a good time. I smiled and told him that I really did. He then told me that he was so glad I had a good time, because he brought me back to see me happy. He is selfless. I know he loves me when he does things like this. I thought I was kind of helping him since he wanted to get some shots of our favorite places for our wedding video (which he is making himself! How cool is that?! I'm super excited!). But, in all reality, he wanted me to be happy-to find some joy and something to look forward to.
Well, this weekend was a dream! I saw Johannes Brahm's Requiem performed IN GERMAN for the first time in the history of the city of Rexburg. I must say, they did wonderfully! I'm so proud of all my dear friends and former professors that put together this ensemble. I was truly touched by the verses Brahm's chose about the fall, repentance, atonement, and resurrection. I truly felt the spirit of the message it presented.
And then there was the end of the show: I WAS MAULED!!! I FELT LIKE A ROCK STAR! So many hugs, congratulations, hello's, good-bye's... It was just wonderful! I love those people--my people--the Snow-dwellers that became my dearest and best friends.
After that, I visited my old roommates and apartment. It was wonderful, yet odd. It didn't feel like home like it used to. I'm moving further and further away from the thought of going back to BYU-I. I loved it there with all of my heart, but there is so much more for me to do and learn as a wife and a mother.
Then, it was time with my BESTIE FRIEND!!! Oh, how I missed Amy! We stayed up until 3 am talking and laughing and trying desperately to catch up and continued to do so after we woke up the next day. It was so hard leaving, I did everything I could to delay just a little longer. But finally, my sweet Bryan looked at me at about 4 pm and told me it was time to go. I hugged Amy twice. I'm going to miss her, but it won't be long until I see her again.
This weekend was exactly what I needed. I love my sweet fiance. He is my other half.
<3

Life is beautiful :)

There have been a few lessons that I have learned lately.

Lesson #1: ALWAYS look at the bright side.
The first few weeks of the month really weighed down on me. I just felt so... blah. I felt like my life wasn't going to go anywhere. Everyday I would go from project to project, work to home, home to work, church and back, and that was it. It was monotonous. And if you know me, I am NOT particularly the person that enjoys routine. Yes, it is good in some areas of life, but not in all areas. I mean, where's the adventure in that?!
Anyway, it wasn't until I was sitting with my sweet fiance telling him that his life DOESN'T suck and that he really CAN enjoy his job if he changes his attitude that I realized... That's what I needed to change my attitude, too. It was so simple! I just needed to see it somewhere else before I could see how it could change my own life. So, I did just that. I started praying for my co-workers and my boss and for the environment that we could create at work. And, honestly, I am really starting to enjoy my job like I used to! It's amazing what a little change of mind can do for your life!

Lesson #2: NEVER hesitate to talk.
I misunderstood something my sweet fiance and I had briefly talked about while we were dating and it has been nagging at me since we got engaged. My sweet fiance and I talked it out and he told me that he never knew I that I felt that way about the whole situation. I realized again how truly blessed I am to have him. We talked everything out and we are more open about our feelings, what's going through our heads, and even how we communicate.

Lesson #3: ALWAYS trust in God; he'll find a way.
"He'll Make a Way" by Byron J. Smith says it best :)

I know the Lord will make a way!
I know the Lord will make a way! Oh, yes!
If you trust and never doubt, he will bring you out!
I know the Lord will make--
I know the Lord will make--
I know! I know! I know! The Lord will make a way!
(repeat)

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
that saved a soul like me!
His mercy everlasting, his truth endures,
And he sent his son to set me free!
(Repeat first verse)

He's there and He cares for me!
He cares, and He'll set you free!
Trust and never doubt, He will bring you out!
I know the Lord will make--
I know the Lord will make--
I know! I know! I know! The Lord will make a way!

Make a way! Make a way! Lord, make a way!
Make a way! I know he'll-- (repeat)

[vamp:]
Altos 1st - Swing down chariot, God will make a way!
Basses 2nd - My Lord, what a mornin', He'll make a way!
Tenors 3rd - I know my Lord will make a way for you!
Sopranos 4th - Trust in Him, He'll show you the way!

Make a way! Make a way! Lord, make a way!
Make a way! Have mercy! (repeat)

I know the Lord will make--
I know the Lord will make--
I know! I know! I know! The Lord will make a way!

Singing again

Bryan and I got into a very deep conversation last night about me. It was so odd at first because I've never talked much to him about my wants and dreams and hopes. I've always been the kind of person that would rather sacrifice everything so that others could be happy. And, with marrying my sweet Bryan, I have become his USC-hoping, film making supporting, book editing, *almost* wife so I can continue doing so when we get married. But yesterday, I started to fall apart at some small things and I couldn't figure out why. So, through all the tears and talking, my sweet Bryan came down with the conclusion that I need to start doing something for me.
It was so hard for me to even talk about myself, I ended up not saying much. But I was finally able to speak out to Bryan about my real dreams after he went along with my list of things I was made to be; a wife, a mom, a supporter, a nurturer... You know, those things.
But he finally got me to break open from my practical mind and tell him everything I wanted. I want to sing with everything in me. I want to praise God for giving me this gift through song and performance. I want to play the piano again. It has been years since I have sat down and just played for me. I miss my old books, my old sheet music... It was everything to me. Now, all I do is work; day to day, hour by hour, just so I can make ends meet and help Bryan get to USC. I'm saving for the wedding and for life after it. Even the wedding stuff I don't really do for myself, I do it for others and their benefit and help. Nothing in my life has been just for me since I went to college.
So, I'm looking into voice lessons again. I have to get these rusty old pipes singing. I'm going to set aside time everyday (probably the half hour after I get home from work) to just sit down in front of the piano and play--just for me.

Counting my blessings yet again.

Today has been in all reality a GOOD day. Haven't had one of those in so long. I'm actually smiling. I cannot describe how happy I am. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for my life, my testimony, my family, and my friends. Work was very bearable today--I had plenty to do and left to do it. When I got out of work, I came home and wrote for an hour and I feel like I'm making progress. After that, Aub and I went to Kylie's rehearsal and we brought Bella so she could see the Jellicle Cats. She even got to go on stage and take pictures! It was so fun to see her belief in the reality of the show. Today was just... Good. I haven't had a day like this in a while.

Status Report

Well, I finally gave in and went to the doctor yesterday. Turns out that I had an ear infection and a possibility of strep throat (Vee, before you comment ANYTHING.... IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!). I'm on antibiotics and he says that I'm totally functional. Yet, all I can feel is the STINKIN' bubble in my ear that makes it throb and hurt soooooooo bad! :P Maybe I'm being a huge baby and whiner, but I DON'T CARE! It hurts! :( And I'm kinda scared that it may not go away because I am stressing out over the wedding and work and life in general. It's terrible :/
But! On the flipside, my parents will be here in just over a week! I'm so excited! I want Mom to come with me to see the florist and to my fitting for my dress. There are things that are still keeping me smiling.

I'm starting to feel the stress.

Between work and planning my wedding, there is not much else that fills my schedule and now I am sick. My sister thinks it has to do with my sinuses since my ears and throat hurt and my nose is running. I wouldn't doubt it. My mother told me some things I should take that might help and it seems like everything I take/do makes only about 1/2 of my symptoms go away.
The hardest part is that work is going to be crazy starting these next few weeks with the new season of sports coming in (i.e. tennis, spring soccer, softball, baseball). My boss keeps telling me to only work half days until I feel better and I've already done that twice. Yet, there is a huge part of me that feels guilty leaving work a few hours early everyday. I need the money and the work needs to be done, ya know? So, tomorrow I'm going to try working a full day and see how my body (namely my head) takes it.
Anyway, back to the title of my entry... I'm pretty sure that my illness is due to my stress. I visited the dentist a few days ago and he said that my TMJ is only going to get worse from the stress of planning my wedding and I've already seen that happen. I don't grind my teeth, I clench them. I find myself rubbing my jaw often because of the pain.
So it starts... The stresses of getting married. I almost wish I could just get married tomorrow and not have to worry about everything. I think most of my stress comes from the fact that I'm planning my wedding from a state away. That was my choice, though. :/ Tough...

I guess it's been a while

Well, I've been working back at my old job from the summer for about a month now and my sweet fiance got a sales job this last week. We are now back in business! ha! I'm just glad that he has a job now. It was really taking a toll on him because he wasn't being the provider like the man is supposed to be. He really let loose when he spoke in church when he mentioned his job hunt. That day, three people asked for his resume and he had a job within the next 24 hours. God really does answer prayers.
We have 2 appointments to look at silk flowers. We figure that silk would be easier since I'll have my bridals a month ahead and then going back and forth from Arizona and Utah... It just makes it cheaper and easier on us.
I also should have my first fitting with my seamstress in the next week or so. I'm so glad that Gaye offered to do it. I'm just so excited to put it on and give it a feel. I was looking at pictures of Audrey Hepburn and I found a picture of her real wedding dress... Mine is almost exactly like hers! It made my day!

uggghhhhh.... MY LIIIIIFE!!!!

On over a week ago, I sent a transcript request form to BYU-Idaho. When looking into this transcript request, the directions aid that the fastest way to get my transcripts sent to my desired school was to do it online. So, I went to my homepage and requested for them. Naturally, I knew that because I was requesting them around the holidays, it would probably take a while and when the website told me they probably wouldn't be sent until New Year's Eve, I was okay with that. I felt a little better when it said that I wouldn't have to pay postage or anything to get them sent because they would be sent electronically. So, I've been waiting to see if BYU-I has sent them and if BYU has recieved them... Nothing.
I'm a little peeved. I selected the NOW option when sending my transcripts and it guaranteed me that they would be sent YESTERDAY. Yeah, nothing. BYU-Idaho needs to get on their game.

The Engagement Story

On December 4th, 2009, Bryan and I were attending the Thacker Family Christmas Party. Now, at this party, the family sits and sings carols for a few minutes and one of the songs was "The 12 Days of Christmas." I thought I would be funny and sing "one white gold ring" instead of "5 golden rings" just to tease him, that time being when we were really getting serious about our marriage talk.
Tonight December 24, 2009, we were caroling with the Thacker side of Bryan's family. It's a tradition that they go caroling on Christmas eve to all their friends in the neighborhood. Well, one neighbor asked that we sing The 12 Days of Christmas. I kinda humfed and frumped because I don't know all the words and it's just a long song hahaha. So we get to the last verse and we're going down the line...
12...
11...
10... (see? even now I don't know what belongs to what number)
9...
8...
7...
6...
And instead of singing 5 golden rings, they all sang: One White Gold Ring!
I looked over and Bryan had a little white box in his hand.
The next few seconds were kind of a blur... I screamed, put my hands to my mouth, started crying, backed into Bryan's grandpa, my mom, and my sister Kylie who all commenced in pushing me back toward my soon-to-be fiance. Bryan got down on one knee and told me, "Kelsey, I knew since the first time I sat next to you that I was going to marry you. You have taken this sinking ship and you've pointed it home. I feel at home with you, and, If you'll have me..." He then took my hand (that I had to slip out of my glove because it all was happening so fast) and slipped a ring onto my finger. "Kelsey Grace Mariner, will you marry me?"
I couldn't say anything, I was crying with so much joy! I just nodded and he took me up into his arms and everyone started cheering! I turned around and I hugged my future in-laws and showed off my ring and then I hugged my family. As I hugged my mom and said, "Mommy, I'm getting married!" and more tears came down my face. There was so much love there and the spirit just rang out so strong. I'm getting sealed to my sweetheart for time and all eternity next year and I can't wait!

Not much on my mind... NOT!

Well, I can't remember if I already told my blog... But I'll say it again if I already have... I'm engaged! And it's so stinkin' exciting/stressful/wonderful/scary!! There are so many emotions running through me. But when I'm with Bryan, I'm reminded why I said yes. He's so wonderful, kind, funny. He's my friend and my love and my priesthood holder who wants to take care of me and our future eternal family. There are so many things to be grateful for and so many more things to be happy about. I just love my life!
On the stressful side, I called the temple today and tried to book my date (June 12th!) and they said that they don't book that far in advanced! Really?!! Ugh, frustrating. I'm getting my date and time that I want. It's my day and I'm willing to be bridezilla. No lies. So I'm just going to call until they'll let me book the sealing room.
Well, my parents have been here for Christmas and I've been so spoiled and loving every minute of it. But any day now, they have to go back to Arizona. Not exciting.

slight obsession

I have found that I am slightly obsessed with trying to sing pop music in a classical style. Or at least trying to make cool overtones out of my favorite pop songs because I kinda know how to now :) It's kinda weird, I know. But that comes with being a music major...
Well, I have 2 1/2 finals behind me, juries tomorrow, and my Old Testament final on Thursday. Then, I'm doing some MAD cleaning to make sure all my stuff is out of my apartment :( It's odd to think that I may never come back to this place. I've lived in the same apartment for 3 semesters now. This is home. But wherever the Lord takes me, I'll go.

So, it's December! Too long...

Well...

"‘Tis winter now; the fallen snow
Has left the heav’ns all coldly clear;
Through leafless boughs the sharp winds blow,
And all the earth lies dead and drear.

And yet God’s love is not withdrawn;
His life within the keen air breathes;
His beauty paints the crimson dawn,
And clothes the boughs with glittering wreaths.

And though abroad the sharp winds blow,
And skies are chill, and frosts are keen,
Home closer draws her circle now,
And warmer glows her light within.

O God! Who giv’st the winter’s cold
As well as summer’s joyous rays,
Us warmly in Thy love enfold,
And keep us through life’s wintry days."

--Samuel Longfellow

Those are the lyrics to one of the songs the Collegiate singers are singing this holiday season. It's been wonderful so far. Bryan came home with me for Thanksgiving. Oh, it was so good to see my family again! How I missed them! All my siblings, the kids, my parents! It was so fun! There was a family talent show and we took family pictures and we played games Friday afternoon... It was just all around wonderful! It seemed like the week went by too fast.
Bryan and I are now just waiting out the end of the semester. Both of us are working so hard to get decent grades on our finals, we barely see each other. But, it's all for a good cause. We'll get to spend all winter together.
It's starting to hit me... I may not be coming back to Idaho. Bryan keeps telling me that he doesn't have an answer about us getting married so I almost don't want to start making any changes to my life just in case he decides that I'm not supposed to be his wife. Just the thought of not being him just tears be apart, but I won't dwell on that. Anyway, we went ring shopping the other day and I found a ring that I loved! I dreamed about that ring. But I will be happy with whatever ring I get... If I get one *sighs* oh well.
Anyway, I have finals and juries to prepare for.