Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Stewing thoughts...

Well, third time's the charm--but this charm SUCKED. Yes, for the third time, BYU denied me. I cried. My husband held me, and I cried. I want to go to school so bad. I'm pretty much jealous that Bryan gets to go and sit in classrooms and soak up lectures and learn so much, while I go and sit in the back of a hot sports store and slave day after day making jerseys just to pay the next month's rent.
I need a new job.
I want to join a dance studio. I've looked into a few, but haven't really seen any prices yet. I need an hour a week when I can just let out my stresses and feel healthy and get tired because I love my life. I'm just... Well, tired of being tired because of my job. I want to be tired because I'm enjoying my life. I want to be tired because I spent the whole day being crazy with stresses that I can laugh about at the end of the day, not stresses that leave me up at night worrying about losing the only source of income that my little family has right now. I want to be happy. Tired, but happy.
I'm happy when I'm at home.
I'm happy when I'm eating dinner with my husband.
I'm happy when I'm reading my scriptures.
I'm happy when I'm reading Harry Potter.
I'm happy when I'm eating popcorn, curled up on the couch, watching a movie.
I'm happy when I'm with my family.
I'm happy when I'm hanging out with my girlfriends.
I'm happy when I'm singing
I'm happy when I'm talking with my God.
I'm happy when I'm sitting in the bathtub with bubbles half-way up the wall.
I'm happy when I know others are happy.
I'm happy when I'm laughing.
I'm happy when my husband holds my hand when we pray
I'm happy when I can go to sleep knowing that my best friend is laying next to me.
I'm happy knowing that God loves me enough to give me life.
I'm happy when I'm at the temple.
I'm happy when I'm looking at pictures, basking in sweet memories.

Well... I needed that.

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