It's over now.
I will probably never grace the Scera Shell Stage as Lady Blakeney ever again. I will never perform "Where's the Girl?" with my husband as Chauvelin ever again (he's assured me that). I'll never do spacing rehearsals arm-in-arm with my "double-head Marguerite" ever again. I will never nail the footbridge scene with Stephen Gashler ever again.
And it breaks my heart. But I will never forget it.
I am one who loves the stage. It doesn't matter the role I take, but I will never stop loving performing. It's a thrill that can't be replaced.
When I sing "I'll Forget You" and bring tears to not only the audience eyes, but my own eyes, I know I did something right. And when the audience applauds and they recognize the work that went into that emotional piece of music... That makes everything worth it. I makes all embarrassments of hair pieces falling out, of falling down stairs and dropping props, of messing up lines... Disappear. Because they know that I am putting my whole soul into a character that I love so much.
And it makes it all worth it.
As I sit alone in my living room typing this post, I can't help but think of what I'm going to do with my evenings here on out. I have school tomorrow which means studying. I'm looking for a new job which means filling out who knows how many online applications and uploading so many copies of my resume.
I need to clean my kitchen and fold laundry.
But, no. I'm sitting on the floor, humming "When I Look at You" and looking at pictures from rehearsals and the show my cast mates took.
I sent a Facebook message to my adorable double today. I truly miss her. I consider her a close friend now. If I had a little brother, I'd want him to marry her. She's so wonderful.
I think about the fact that I don't get to work alongside extremely talented actors who have taught me so much.
I don't get to feel that complete satisfaction that comes when I know I did a good job in Jerry Elison's eyes anymore. I am going to miss that man so much. I hope with everything that is in me that I get to work with him again. Bryan and I love him so much.
So, here it is:
To My Scarlet Pimpernel Family,
I cannot begin to say how much this experience has meant to me. From the beginning of auditions until closing night this last weekend, this has truly been one of the best experiences of my life. I remember sitting at the callbacks and listening to each of the ensemble ladies sing "Madame Guillotine" and then listening to Marguerite (after Marguerite after Marguerite... *wink*) sing "When I Look at You" and thinking how ridiculously talented each person was in that room. It was intimidating and exciting all at the same time. I knew that, no matter what role I took, I'd have to keep my game up at all times.
When I got the offer to be Marguerite, it was a dream come true. When Bryan was offered Chauvelin, I laughed a little. I won't lie. We were so certain that if I was Marguerite, he would be Percy. But I guess Bryan is just too slimy to be a fop ;)
And so it began.
I loved every one of you the moment I walked into that Pre-rehearsal meeting. Bryan and I were just so excited. We couldn't have asked for better people to work with. Each of the directors were amazing, and as we got to know all of you, it just became better and better.
I hope that we will continue to do parties at Sabrina's house, late-night Menchies runs, bombard Denny's and IHOP at midnight, play night games until who-knows-when, and get into all kinds of shenanigans.
Thank you for making my experience as Lady Blakeney even better than it ever could have been. It's like that line in We Bought A Zoo: "The animals are cool, but I sure do love the people."
I sure do love you people.
With everything that I am,
aka Marguerite St. Just/Lady Blakeney
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