Thoughts on Thursday

I can't sleep.
Lately, it's been a HUGE struggle trying to get the proper sleep that adults should get. I try to go to bed between 10 and midnight, but always end up tossing and turning for 1-2 hours. Then, I'll wake up every hour or so for about 15-45 minutes, tossing and turning, until my body finds a way to get back to sleep.
Then my alarm goes off at 7 am.
But I'm SO TIRED.
So, I try going back to sleep again.
Usually I will sleep until about 9 and then force myself to get out of bed.
But I'm still exhausted.
I've tried a few things; white noise, cooling the room, lavender spray... I'm actually terrified of taking sleeping pills, but I wonder if I should try.

Any suggestions?

Lovely

This weekend was a CRAZY weekend.
But so totally fun and worth it.

After Bryan and I got to Bountiful on Friday night, it felt like I went immediately to work. I had to bake chocolate cake cookies (cake batter, 2-3 eggs, 1/3 C of oil. Mix. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes. That easy), chocolate chip cookies that I personally felt super embarrassed about how crappy they were, and a chocolate cake (that never got eaten) for Saturday.
Tylene came over and kept me company while I baked and started to lose my mind. I felt so worried about what the decorations were going to end up like.
My brother-in-law is getting married to probably one of the sweetest, cutest girls I have met! And... She's AFRICAN! Like, a LEGIT African! From Lesotho (The country in South Africa)!
Anyway, I wanted it to have a little African flair, but I felt like I didn't know where to start... So, I just started.
Cream tablecloth
Red Runner
Brown napkins and plates.
Raised platter.
Basotho hat? Of course
Little giraffes? Always
Little red pom poms? That'll tie it in.

I was very proud. I'll see if I can get the picture from my mother-in-law.
When my husband got back from setting up for the bachelor party, he looked at the table and said, "Oh, Grandma's done it again! She's so good with centerpieces!" at which my mother-in-law responded, "Uhhh no. That was your wife."
And do you know what he said???
He said, "REALLY?!!"
Yeah. He was surprised. I don't know exactly how I feel about his reaction, but I'll take it I guess....

Then Saturday morning came: The Lovely Day.
Leah went through the temple. It was such an awesome experience being with her. We had a few people walk up to us afterwards and tell us that they knew exactly who the groom was because of the smile that was on Matthew's face the WHOLE SESSION.
It was fun :)

The bridal shower was a HUGE success! I had a lot of people tell me how fun it was (which was the goal)! But, I have to give props to my awesome help Vee, Lou, Grandma, and Mom! :)

I stayed up way too late at the Bachelorette party, but it was still super fun :) But, because I was up so late, my voice was kinda scratchy when I sang in church on Sunday.

So, I need a little help

I'm in a wedding on March 26th.
I have to wear red jewelry.
And...
I CAN'T FIND ANY.

Got any ideas where I could find some? :) preferably some stud/small-ish earrings and a necklace (the longer, the better!)

Thanks.
Love you :)

Day 27 – Your favorite place

My favorite place? The temple.



This is Bryan and I the day we got married outside of the Mesa, Arizona temple where we were sealed together for time and all eternity.
I love the temple because it is a place that can give me peace. It is the house of God. I can worship and commune with Him. I can escape from a world filled with remorse and torment and take time to think and be close to the Spirit. It is a place of comfort and learning. A place that is sacred and special. I love it there, in the temple.

Day 26 – Your fears

I have one fear: Loss.

Now, you might say something like, "Well... That's not really a fear, is it? I mean, really."

But it's true.
I am afraid of loss.

Because when you lose something, your world crumbles a little bit.

My life has always been rocky, but rocks stay put.

What I'm trying to say is, if I lost one of my "rocks", I'd fall. And that scares me.

I'm afraid of losing my family.
I'm afraid of losing my husband.
I'm afraid of losing my pride.
I'm afraid of losing my dignity.
I'm afraid of losing my religion.
I'm afraid of losing my mind.
I'm afraid of loss.

Get me?